Happy Mother's Day!

My first Mother's Day! After getting my and James' mom better gifts this year now that I realize how much they did (and are still doing) for us, the next thing on my list of to-dos on my first Mother's Day is to apologize to all of the other mothers out there and pretty much say "I take it back!" Not Claire, of course, but all of the judgements and supposed decisions that I made before I had a child. I can honestly say, you can't really imagine what it's like until it happens to you. I take back thinking I would never want sleep in the same bed as my baby. I take back believing I'd never use a pacifier as a mute button. I take back planning on letting her cry it out at 3 months of age. I take it all back! With all my plans shot, you'd think I'd be disappointed, but I'm not ... and it's so, so, so much better than I ever could have imagined.

My mom shared these quotes with me today, and they definitely resonate with what I'm feeling:

It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.
-- Erma Bombeck (1927-1996), American newspaper columnist and author.

When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. You are connected to your child.... A mother always has to think twice: once of herself and once for her child.
-- Sophia Loren (1934- ), Italian motion-picture actor.

I also got this poem from Renee's blog and think it captures a lot of what I've discovered just in the last three months.

Before I was a Mom
I slept as late as I wanted and never worried about how late I got into bed.
I brushed my hair and my teeth everyday.

Before I was a Mom
I cleaned my house each day.
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on. Spit on.
Chewed on
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts.
I slept all night..

Before I was a Mom
I never held down a screaming child so that doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put it down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much before I was a Mom.

Thank you, moms, for everything you do.