Bye-Bye Pump

Done with pumping as of Friday, I've packed up all my stuff and put it away. The pump, bottles, tubing, all that jazz. I have a bunch of extra storage bags and other supplies that I'll probably offer to the many moms who have had babies recently; apparently I was a little overly ambitious as to how much I'd be pumping or how much longer. Our kitchen counter is so much more open! I'm both relieved and a little sad ... my baby is growing up too fast!

In other news, our house is pretty darn clean right now because straightening up gives you something to do while you're listening to your baby cry. Cathy taught me that, and it's absolutely true.

Day 2: Saturday Night

Today we kicked things off earlier than yesterday, mostly because we're all exhausted. Not only did James and I not get much sleep last night, we were ambitious and went on a morning walk, to Costco, to a free Gymboree class, and Wal-Mart during the day. At first, we expected to start the process around 9 or 10 again tonight, but I had a feeling that there was no way Claire would make it that late. Here's how it played out:

• 8:00pm - Bath, book, cuddling. Didn't do bottle because Claire showed no interest in it. We actually just finished eating not too long before, so we knew she didn't want it. However, it leaves the question of whether she's going to need to eat at some point during the night; we'll figure that out when we get there.
• 8:20pm - Lots of eye-rubbing and head burying, so we lay her down. She's smiling some until the moment that we turn off the light and head out of the room. She went directly into the loud, long crying. Yesterday's intervals were 5-10-15 min, so today is 10-15-20. James sets the timer -- 10 minutes.
• 8:27pm (7 min into our 10 min) - It sounded like her crying was subsiding, but then it gathered again full force.
• 8:30pm - We head in there to pat her on her back and tell her how much we love her. She doesn't stop crying this time when we console her; it almost sounds like her cries get louder! :( We head out after a few minutes already planning to go back in again after this next interval. She's sweating again from all the crying, so we turn down the A/C a notch. James sets the timer -- 15 minutes.
• 8:40pm (7 min into our 15 min) - The crying subsides and becomes crying out noises instead. I'm holding my breath hoping that the worst might be over.
• 8:42pm (9 min into our 15 min) - I finally exhale (I swear I was holding my breath the whole time); silence! I crank up the monitor volume -- which I had turned all the way down before because no monitor was needed to hear her -- and relish in the deep breaths I hear coming from the device. She's asleep!
• 8:48pm - The timer goes off marking 15 minutes, but we don't need to go in because she's asleep. We spend a couple of minutes discussing what we'll do if she wakes to feed, but decide that we're too tired to make a really rational decision, so we'll just play it by ear when and if the time comes.
• 10:04pm - Dwo and Crystal are here! Yay! And Claire's still asleep! Double-yay!
• 10:30pm - Okay, I'm headed to bed ... our actual bed this time. As I'm getting ready for bed, I realize that this is the first time in 6 months and 3+ weeks that I have the opportunity to sleep with James in the same room all night, just the two of us.
• 10:43pm - Claire wakes up crying literally as I'm laying down in my own bed and my head touches the pillow. James and I agree that if she's still crying after her 10 minutes are up, I'll offer her the bottle since she didn't take much formula today. I set the timer -- 10 min.
• 10:45pm (2 min into the 10 min) - I can't stand just lying in bed listening to her cry for 10 minutes, so I get up, go to the living room, and update this blog while watching the video monitor and the countdown. Our video monitor also doesn't work in our room (distance between our rooms is too far), so I have to leave the master in order to watch.
• 10:51pm (9 min into the 10 min) - Crying subsides ... then increases ... ebb ... flow ... wax ... wane ... 1 more minute.
• 10:53pm - I go in and mix her bottle. She's still whimpering after I pick her up meaning she must be legitimately hungry. She finishes about 4 ounces and then falls asleep. Uh-oh. Now what? Aren't I supposed to put her in her crib with her "sleepy but not asleep"? But I'm not dumb enough to wake a sleeping baby, either. I contemplate my options.
• 11:02pm - I decide to put her down in her crib and just see what happens. She, of course, wakes up pretty immediately. What was I so worried about? :P I leave her room and set the timer -- 15 minutes.
• 11:07pm (2 min into the 15 min) - I go back into the master bedroom to turn the audio monitor back on so that (meanly) James has to listen to the crying, too. Hey, why should I be the only one suffering through? On my way to the bedroom I recognize that I'm not going to be sleeping in the master tonight. Another night on the couch for me!
• 11:09pm (4 min into the 15 min) - In the master, I realize that the audio monitor IS already on ... yet somehow James is still able to snore soundly over the noise. I recognize that he's exhausted, but seriously?! That has got to be a man-talent of some kind.
• 11:11pm (6 min into the 15 min) - The crying subsides and turns into the "nooooo .... nooooo" noises.
• 11:12pm (7 min into the 15 min) - Silence. Claire's asleep. Whew. Except that I'm pretty sure she's sleeping face-down based on both the video and audio. I debate going in there to turn her head.
• 11:20pm - Timer sounds signaling the 15 min are up, but she's asleep, so I decide to lay down on the couch instead and not worry about turning her head.
• 12:05am - Claire wakes again, and this time she means it! I set the timer -- 10 min again
• 12:11am (7 min into 10 min) - James comes out of the bedroom (my diobolical plan worked) and Dwo and Crystal join in the waiting and watching party.
• 12:14am - With just secounds left, she falls asleep. Even with the timer counting down to zero, her breathing is slowing. Dwo and Crystal cheer.
• 2:10am - James wakes up, out of habit, I think. He turns down the A/C because the termostat schedule had the temp up to 78. We realize that we're going to have an entire additional A/C unit cooling the majority of our house at night just to keep Claire comfortable when we used have just the unit on our side of the house wth the master running. Look forward to those future eletricity bills. :P We go back to sleep.
• 3:35am - Up again; 10 minute timer.
• 3:39am (4 min into 10 min) - She's silent, though not asleep, rolling around the crib.
• 3:40am (5 min into 10 min) - She makes her "noooo ... nooooo" noises.
• 3:41am (6 min into 10 min) - Silence.
• 3:45am - Timer goes off, but everyone's already asleep.
• *** Some stuff may or may not have happened here. If it did, it was minor, and I was too tired to remember or care.***
• 6:30am - Claire's starting to stir. My internal clock has me springing awake, on-call, and ready to make her a bottle and semi-start our day.
• 6:47am - She went back to sleep! Sheesh. Fine, I'll lay back down, too.
• 7:30am - Okay, it's late enough, right? She's been rolling around her crib for awhile, and I'm ready to go see my baby! I head in and start the day!

The final tally:

• Time to sleep: 22 minutes (-6 min from last night)
• Times woken up in night: 4, not counting actual waking time (same as last night)
• Times we had to go in: Once to give her a bottle. Pretty good!

For Day 3? 15-20-30 min intervals! Yikes! Wish us luck!

*Deep breath* Here we go ... Day 1: Friday night

I figured I'd blog about the "Cry It Out" weekend since it's such a HUGE event for me. I've been dreading having to do this, and I have had no qualms letting anyone that will listen know how I don't want to do it but know that we need to. This may be my longest blog ever ... seriously.

• 4:30pm - Pick up Claire from daycare. Usually I get her about 6:00, but knowing what is about to take place tonight, I figure an extra hour of play will do both of us some good. Well, at least me. I find out when I pick her up that she has not taken her later afternoon nap. Uh-oh.
• 5:30pm - Claire and I fall asleep together cuddled up on the chaise (our favorite sleeping-together place) after playing for the last hour. I figure this is like a last hurrah and it'll only last her typical 30-minutes, so no big deal.
• 7:15pm - We wake up from our marathon nap. Whoops. Hmm ... I wonder how this will impact the rest of the night's agenda. At least we're up in time for our normal dinner time! Since a lot of the literature I've read says that you should delay your bedtime ritual the first night until the time the baby usually falls asleep, we'll play until 9:00 (when she usually falls asleep in my arms).
• 9:00pm - Bath, books, bottle, cuddling. Whole thing takes about 45 minutes, and this is when she falls asleep in my arms, right? Nope. Little girl is happy, perky, jabbering, and in no way ready for bed. Yikes.
• 10:20pm - A yawn! Okay, this is it ... directions are to place her in her bed, sleepy but not asleep, so that she can associate going to sleep and not just waking up there. We can do this ... *deep breath!* ... down she goes and ... she looks up and smiles at us! What?! Will it be that easy? James and I head to the living room to start the night.
• 10:25pm - The crying starts, plaintively at first. Watching from our video monitor, we can tell that it's that coy mewing where she says "wah-wah" but is taking glances at the video monitor to make sure we're watching. She's working her way around her crib, rolling, rocking, on her back, on her stomach, on her knees, on her feet, head down, head up; our little gymnast/monkey is telling us she does not want to be there. I start my timer -- 5 minutes.
• 10:30pm - Timer goes off, but we're already heading into her room to pat her on the back and tell her how much we love her because I've been watching the timer tick down the last two minutes. She immediately stops crying and waits patiently for us to pick her up. We stick by the plan and head back out after a minute or two of soothing.
• 10:32pm - The crying starts again, this time in earnest. I think she was surprised that we actually left the room instead of taking her with us! I start the timer -- 10 minutes.
• 10:42pm - We go back in again to pat her on the back and tell her how much we love her. Again, she stops crying when we enter the room and looks at us in anticipation. She's definitely tiring and seems to almost fall asleep on my hand that I put on her arm to pat her. Still, we stick by our plan and head back out, this time turning down the A/C a degree because she seems to be sweating with all that crying.
• 10:43pm - Wailing starts, long and loud. My stomach clenches, I turn off the audio on the monitor, and I turn up the TV.
• 10:54pm (11 minutes into our 15 minutes) - The crying slows and turns into her blah-blah-blahing noises that she makes before she falls asleep each night. It's her way of telling me each night that she'd rather stay up than fall asleep; I think she's say "noooo ... nooo ... I don't wanna go to bed!" right before she passes out. A secret? It's pretty close to what I do when I'm rolling around in bed on nights that I can't fall asleep either; like mother, like daughter. I think the last time that happened was sometime around the week before Claire was born ... has it really been 7 months since I've had a full night's sleep?!
• 10:56pm (13 minutes into our 15 minutes) - Deep breathing and ... silence?!
• 10:57pm (34 seconds later) - Timer goes off to let us know we can go comfort her, but -- guess what? -- we don't need to because she's asleep. Wowsers.
• 11:00pm - I get nervous because it's too quiet, it seemed so easy, and I start thinking that maybe she passed out instead of falling asleep. Or she can't breathe because she's face down. I turn up the monitor all the way to try and hear her breathing. I think I hear a hiccup and relax.
• 11:02pm - I sneak into her room through the jack-n-jill bath to adjust the monitor so that I can see the back of her head because she has fallen asleep with her head jammed into the corner just out of view. That's better.
• 11:03pm - The back of her head isn't good enough. I sneak into her room further and use my iPhone flashlight to make sure I can see her back rising and falling and that her nose is unobstructed. Her face is pressed into the nubby yarns of her blanket, but I'm pretty sure she's okay. I restrain from touching her at all.
• 11:18pm - I turn the monitor all the way up again to make sure she's breathing, but the music in her room is louder than her breathing. I debate on whether to go turn her head. I decide not to do it; why chance waking her up?
• 11:55pm - Still sleeping. I realize I should probably go to sleep instead of waiting up and watching the monitor because if she wakes up in the middle of the night - like she's wont to do around 2am - I might need some sleep to do this over again!

• 12:00 Midnight - Claire stirs and starts crying. I swear I didn't do anything. I've been sitting here on the couch working on my blog updates! I wait a little while to see if it's going to persist, then start the timer -- 5 minutes.
• 12:03am (3 minutes into the 5 minutes) - She settles back down and appears to fall back asleep. I think I'll leave the timer running down anyways (I know, I know, I'm weak). BTW, James has been asleep on the couch next to me for about 30 minutes now. Lucky guy, though I don't know how he does it!
• 12:07 - Timer goes off, but she's asleep so I keep blogging. [For future reference, if you're working on two blogs at the same time and upload pictures to one, don't be surprised if the pictures show up on the second one instead!]
• 12:30am - Still asleep. I finish posting Claire's latest blog update and continue uploading pictures to Ofoto and videos to YouTube (which is SOOO slow, btw). I have a ton of them I'm planning on uploading this weekend, although if I don't end up going to sleep like I should, I might just finish them tonight!
• 12:45am - Claire wakes up. I know this because I have been watching the video monitor even as I'm watching TV (love "Psych"; so funny!) and post captions on pictures I just uploaded. But no crying ensues, so no timer needed! Less than a minute later, it appears as though she's back asleep.
• 12:55am - Head moving again, but - again - no crying. So why aren't I asleep?!
• 1:30am - Okay, I finished my "Psych" episode, I can hear her breathing (though she's still sleeping face down), I've finished captioning the pictures I added tonight, and my last video is uploading now. Guess I'll try to get some winks!
• 1:45am - Claire just cried out a couple of times and turned in her crib. Now I can't see her head again! Sheesh. We're getting close to her usual "waking at 2am for a few minutes" time. We'll see how this goes. Oh, and yes, I'm still awake. Debbie's up so we're emailing back and forth.
• 1:59am - For real crying out now, a bit plaintively. She's looking around for us and wondering what in the world is going on. I start the timer -- 5 minutes.
• 2:02am (3 minutes into our 5 minutes) - She activates the crib toy, "Blue hippo! <>". She stops crying to check out her noisemaker and then resumes crying out but not actually crying.
• 2:04am - Timer goes off, but James (who has woken up) and I debate whether to go in since she's not crying anymore. We decide to wait.
• 2:06am - The "nooooo .... nooooo .... don't wanna fall asleep" noises are back. I'm hoping this means she's falling back asleep. Just three more hours until I allow myself to go to her and feed her!
• 2:11am - Silence. Trying to decide whether I should go turn the video again so that I can see her. I decide that I should try to sleep instead, and even if I do fix the camera, she'll probably just turn around again anyways.
• 2:30am - Sigh, still awake. Got distracted looking for Claire's Halloween costume and watching a documentary about Nike (swoosh!).
• 3:00am - Okay, going to sleep (I guess now it's just take a nap). For real. Honestly. Since we decided to camp out on the couch this weekend, all I need to do is CLOSE THE LAPTOP NOW. Okay, okay, here I go ...
• 4:35am - Up again, some crying again. I start the timer -- 5 minutes.
• 4:39am (3 minutes into our 5 minutes) - Blah-blah-blahing. Let's go past our 5 minutes and see.
• 4:41am - Quiet ... sleep!
• 6:10am - Crying again. We give it a couple of minutes but decide that this time sounds more like true "I'm hungry!" calls.
• 6:14am - Bottle is made, and James heads into the room while I watch on the monitor. The cries intensify when she sees Daddy walk through the door and immediately stop when he picks her up.
• 6:18am - Nothing to watch because Baby is out of the frame.
• 6:20am - Here comes James with (awake) baby in one hand and bottle in the other. No interest in eating, huh? We confer on what to do. Put her back in her crib? But is she ready to get up? What if she falls asleep? Claire cuddles while we get analysis-paralysis.
• 6:40am - Now we figure it's late enough to just stay up (not that 6:20 wasn't but 6:40 really does make sense). James takes Claire to her room to play, and I pass out on the couch.
• 7:30am - Claire's back, she's stayed up, and now I'm up, too. I declare last night a great success! Now to figure out what to do during the day ... I never read that far in the books on what to do with naps. Hahaha. Well, even if I mess this one up, it's the poor daycare that gets to deal with the aftermath on most days (sorry, girls)!

The final tally:

• Time to sleep: 28 minutes
• Times woken up in night: 4 (not counting actual waking time)
• Times we had to go in at night: 0 <-- ZERO!

Tonight: 10-15-20 min intervals! I'm not dreading it as much as I did last night, but I'm definitely curious how it'll turn out!

Finito, finitus, fini, fertig ... finished

Today was the day. I've pumped my last pumping for Claire. The last few weeks I was doing 2 pumpings a day which went down to one last week, and - as of today - I'm done. I have three saved frozen bags in the freezer that I've been hoarding (for what, I don't know), so she's get one bottle each day over the Labor Day weekend, and then we're all formula until she's 1!

Maybe I've been saving those bags knowing the other thing we're doing this weekend (yes, "crying it out") almost as a "I'm sorry, baby!" offering ... :)

More on the "other activity" shortly (gulp!).

Mommy has an Owwie

So Claire got me good on Friday. Somehow, my spastic daughter managed to poke me in the eye while flailing around playing, actually getting a finger (or fingernail) ON my eyeball, and now it's red and ugly on the side of my iris. I'm still trying to decide whether to go to the doctor (and would I go to an eye doctor or a normal doctor?) or just see if it'll heal. Although today, I'm starting to lean towards going to see someone now that I think it's raised up where her finger made contact (eewww ....). It's so frustrating because you can't exactly look at the corner of your eye in the mirror (ever tried it?) so I don't know exactly how it looks except for how James describes it to me and the couple of pretty disgusting pictures I've taken so far. I do not recommend trying to take pictures of your eyeball.

Good times.

(Sort of) Funny First-day-of-daycare Story

So, today's Claire's first day at daycare, and I'm doing okay! This morning, Claire slept in late (as she's been doing recently), so I steathily moved her to her pack and play so that I could get dressed, pump, and pack my lunch. She woke up while James was getting dressed, and between the two of us, we did a really good job getting us ready as well as her bottles made, bag packed, and ready to go.

When we got there, Claire had no problems going to the teacher and hung out in her lap for a little while. James and I had to fill out some paperwork, so we alternated doing that and peeking in the window of the room a few times. When we were leaving, she'd moved onto the floor and was starting to play with the other little kiddos.

My (sort of) funny story? So this afternoon about 3:30 (while I'm in a meeting) my cell phone rings and my caller ID shows "Primrose School of Castle Hills" since I added them to my contacts. I blaze out of the conference room already answering my phone while walking.

"Hello, Mrs. Pee? This is xxx from the Primrose School of Castle Hills. How are you doing?" Seriously, HOW AM I DOING?! Daycare calls in the middle of the first day I drop her off to ask me how I'm doing?! She should have just skipped any niceties and tell me WHAT HAPPENED TO MY BABY!

Needless to say, I skipped the "I'm fine" and went with "what's wrong?". (pause) "We were wondering if there was a second jar of food for her lunch." O-M-G ... so, after I caught my breath and stopped having my minor embolism, I told her that it was in the fridge behind her bottles. I kept her on the phone some extra time to ask how Claire's day was and how things were going (I figured I was due given the heart attack); fine on all accounts.

This evening when I went to pick her up, she was all smiles. I can almost pretend that it was smiles from beginning to end, but I have a feeling that wasn't exactly the case. There were a few rough patches today, I know, but I also know that it'll be fine and that she's going to be well taken care of by the folks there. She took 2 4-oz bottles (may be a first!), ate food, and played with the other kids. Her little friend Sofia will be joining her in a few weeks, so that will be fun, too.

All in all, a good first day.

Happy Anniversary

This past Friday, August 15th, was James and my 7-year anniversary. It's hard to believe that it's been 7 years since we said our vows in The Chapel by the Sea at Kauai Lagoons. It truly was a fairy tale wedding with most of our family and closest friends attending. I'm so ready to go back! Vow renewals, anyone?

Not only is it our 7-year wedding anniversary, 8/22 marks TEN YEARS since James and my unofficial first date. It's hard to say when James had our very first date ... was it the lunch at Villa Capri? When he helped me move in? Our actual first date at The Oasis and Putt-Putt? Really, it doesn't matter which event was truly the first ... what's most important is that, even 10 YEARS later, I'm still so in love with this amazing man and honored that he's my husband.

It's hard to imagine that I ever would have found someone that complements me as well as James. He washes, I fold; I load the dishes, he unloads; he'll take mornings while I stay up at night. There is compromise, laughter, and knowing that tomorrow is another day. James makes me want to be a better wife and mother because he raises the bar every day ... plus I need to make sure he doesn't get that 7-year itch!

In the past, James and I have used our anniversary (first date or wedding) as an excuse to go on a trip somewhere. But, with the new house and baby, we decided to just keep it local this year. Instead, we had a lunch date to L&L Hawaiian BBQ in Lewisville, and yet it was still perfect. Together, we tried something new, we reminisced about the years we've been together, and we even brought in a little bit of the Islands. Even if I can't renew my vows in Hawaii anytime soon, I'd marry him all over again. Here's to 7 (or 10!) years together and 70 (or 100!) more!

For those who haven't seen this, here's a video that my little bro Dwo put together for us of our wedding:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vua3d0U_wnU