It Does Get Easier

For some, going from being DINKs (dual-income, no kids) to having a child is mind-altering, life-changing, sleep-depriving, patience-testing, hardest thing they'll ever do. It was for me ... until I had a second kid, and I realized having the one was easy! Sure, I'm more relaxed in taking care of Gavin's needs, but the challenges of juggling two -- two schedules, two tempers, two naptimes, two meal plans -- has challenged me to multi-task like never before ... and I still can't seem to remember my own antibiotics because my brain is apparently full.

But it does get easier. I tell that to my other girlfriends that just had their #2 (and myself!) all the time ... and some days I actually believe it. The trick, though, is being able to answer when asked (and you WILL be asked), "when?! WHEN does it get easier?!"

Take last Friday, for instance. I managed to get a load of laundry, a load of dishes, and a loaf of banana bread going all before going to playgroup in the morning. Of course, I was 30 minutes late to playgroup (which is really "on time" nowadays), the load of laundry is still sitting unfolded in a pile on the couch, the dishes were just the first of about three loads I needed to do to clear out the sinks, and the bread ... well, I'll take credit for the bread. :)

It has gotten more manageable incrementally over time. I first acknowledged it about the time that Gavin learned to fight back a little bit more and I didn't worry every minute about him being mortally wounded by Claire. She would lay on him on the ground, and he would complain and push her back. When he started sitting up, I could put him on the ground to play with her, and she would roll a ball back and forth. Crawling brought on more freedom (and headaches) as he could now follow both of us around the house as we did tasks, and pulling up has been a whole new set of adventures.

The moments that make it totally worth it are when I catch them rolling on the ground together laughing or just quietly playing together. It's only with Claire that Gavin really lets go the chuckles, and it's her he looks for first in the morning when he wakes up. Usually I try to wedge myself between them so they don't disturb each other, but he'll pop up and try to climb over me first thing to go for her. And Claire will go out of her way to make sure Gavin is happy. When he tries to flip over when I change him, Claire will dance for him to distract him. When he's done being in his high chair during breakfast but I'm doing the dishes, she'll sing songs and blow bubbles for him to buy me just a few more minutes. When he's crying in his car seat, she'll try to console him, "Don't worry, Gavin. We're almost there!" just like we did for her when she was little. Claire will protect Gavin and make sure he's okay because, as she says, "that's Gavin; he's my bru-dder".

Sure I still worry about the poking, crushing, tipping, etc, etc, etc that goes on, but as long as they're relatively safe, I'll take it for all the hugging, kissing, and loving they show towards one another. That's what family is all about.